Part One: How I ‘Became’ Arcturian

I always wanted to be ENOUGH. To be good enough. To be seen, to be wild, to be heard, to be FREE, to be RECOGNIZED for who I wanted myself to be. I always wanted to conquer my self-doubt, to take control of the life I knew I held within my hands that somehow was still so far out of my grasp. I just couldn’t handle it anymore, I just couldn’t take it anymore… the whole not being myself thing. The whole not knowing who I truly am thing. The whole wasting away my life wondering why I’m constantly battling between constant self-doubt and anxiety attacks. The whole playing a game of stuffing myself into a box to fit other people’s perceptions of MY reality. The whole being a piece to the puzzle instead of the whole damn thing. The whole wanting people to like me, wanting people to notice me, wanting people to hear me, wanting people to recognize me for MY truth, for all that I held inside of me.

I got sick of the games. I got tired of the mental abuse. I got restless in the mundane life of playing a 3D muse.

And so, I stayed stuck. For a VERY long time. Or what felt like a long time. I stayed stuck in my human perception of reality, of my ‘so called life’. I stayed stuck pretending to be someone I’m not, fearing being alone, running away from my problems, total self-abandonment, complete loss of control.

I became a recluse because I didn’t have much left – recognizing the depression that was crawling underneath my skin. I needed to heal, I needed to find what pieces of me, of the real me, the ACTUAL me, were left inside of this sick and ghostly body, depleted of all energy and spirit. So, I laid in bed day after day, mentally abusing myself and trying to force myself out of this game. I was hopeless, I was despaired, yet something inside of me kept going and pushing me along. Something inside of me had this crazy inkling on what to do next, on how to crawl out of this mess. It would take some time, surely, but I knew that this was not the only thing left.

I knew I was meant for more. I knew I was ‘cramping my style’ – holding on to all these years of abuse, shame, lack, guilt, resentment, and paralyzing fear. I knew there was something more to this life than for me to follow the rules, get good grades, go to a good school, grab a surface-satisfying career, become a wife. I knew there was more for me out there, I just had to taste it, I had to smell it, I had to get away from it so I could come back to where I started… if that makes sense. I had to lose myself to gain my true self back.

And that’s when I learned I was an Arcturian.

It was several years in the making. I had begun to crawl out my depression, started a coaching business, was certifiably on the road to ‘tried and true success’, which was all I could admit to myself that I wanted. Deep down inside, I was just crying “please get me out of this mess”, “please turn this into something worthwhile”, “please give me the safety, the security, the abundance and love that I have been asking for”. Please. Help. Was all I could ask for. And that spilled through as I constantly fought against myself to manifest my desires whilst, yet again, playing a role of the martyr.

If I just did something that was ‘good enough’ to ‘help mankind’, then maybe my family would see me in their eyes. Maybe I’d be good enough for the world finally, and possibly even my immediate family. Maybe if I showed them I wasn’t scared to do it MY way, to run the opposite direction on the highway, to throw all caution to the wind and do what ‘felt right’ (which felt so wrong), I’d finally, finally, finally, just finally be ‘so called’ good enough. I could make amends with my wrongs. I could ‘do what was right all along’. I could stop feeling so scared, so helpless, and so restless and finally come to a state of REST.

Inner rest was all I wanted. Inner peace was all I desired. That true state of vibrational resonance that makes you feel like you’ve been HOME all along. Like you’ve been scared from the one piece that was missing inside of you that, in fact, was right there all along. Like you’ve finally put it all together internally and now the rest has followed. Like no longer you are scared, no longer are you denying your truth, no longer are you a burden, no longer are you in fear. Like no longer you are lying to yourself and you are on the right path. Like no longer will they look at you and stare like something with you is just so God-wrong.

This is what I was afraid of and yet yearning for deep down at the same time. This is the testament to the Truth that I held for a very long time. A truth that wasn’t right, wasn’t me, wasn’t aligned and could do no wrong. For I thought it was protecting me from myself, because myself, my real self felt so wrong. It felt WRONG to be me. It felt BAD to be myself. It felt reckless, selfish, stupid, dirty, and downright evil to be who I truly was. For this is what I was taught in many different circumstances. That I was bad when I was light. That I was dirty when I explored. That I was ridiculous when I abandoned the rules and followed my own. That I was scared to do what was right, even though right felt wrong. That I was afraid of abandonment when I was abandoning myself all along.

Anyways, going back to where we started. So, I entered the coaching game, only to fall flat on my face, not realizing it was in my best interest to get ‘nowhere’ with it all. I was scared, stuck, frustrated, angered, and completely lying to myself. But I wouldn’t and couldn’t dare recognize within me what I had hoped others would recognize them for themselves. To speak and hear their truth, to quit fighting their wrongs, to be free to be themselves, to come back ‘home’. I had abandoned that for myself, for I thought by leading others to that WAS be being myself. Boy was I wrong – at least at that point in time – I needed to find my home still, I needed to reconnect to my internal essence of life.

And I stayed scared and stuck until one day a lovely mentor of mine connected the dots and led me to be-lieve that I was an Arcturian guide. “An Arcturian what?” I thought to myself. But I was effervescently curious about who I was and seeing ALL the truth that lies within us. For I’ve always been curious – no doubt – never letting that one thing go, that insatiable thirst for something more. I’ve always thirsted, craved and what often felt like ‘died for’ MORE. More truth, more essence, more REALness, more more more. I dove deep into the depths of my own pitch black waters just to find myself, and if the only thing I came out with was that I was an Arcturian guide, you bet I was going to hold on to it.

Except, I didn’t necessarily hold on to it, rather, I pushed it aside, in another one of my hidden boxes, never to be seen or touched again. Until one day when I was old enough to let ALL my crazy out, I thought to myself. No, I was still going to play it safe (because being truthful and honest was just too damn much of a risk to take) by offering my sweet and simple intuitive guidance. Deep down inside I KNEW there was SO, SO, SO much more I could offer – I just didn’t know what. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. After all my research and wormholes my curiosity led me to over the years, I still couldn’t quite fully identify my whole self. As if I were a specimen or science project I was studying all this time. Not to mention I had two souls living in my body at the time.

Yup, two souls. You got that right. A common theme in my reality, as I saw all the synchronicities flash before my eyes as my mentor guided me through this as well. Ironically, my REAL soul was a little too ‘timid and scared’, so to speak, when it was time to ‘jump the gun’ and hop into my human body. So, another soul flew in right by my side and all my life I’ve felt like I internally was fighting between TWO lives. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Deep inside. And FINALLY, it occurred to me that I was RIGHT. I was right all along about what was happening within my internal reality all along!

Perhaps that was the first moment I really, truly began to start trusting myself. Maybe only by an inch, but hey, it was something. She helped me release the ‘opposing soul’ and send it back to its original planet, as I opened the beginning chapter of finding and fully embodying myself. I can’t say I felt any sort of major shift or change right away, it was a subtle sensation and ‘growing into’ type nature. I was getting comfy in my own skin again now not having some other soul take up my vibrational resonance. Some of the fear started to lessen, some of the clarity started to come through again, some of the fatigue started to lighten up.

But still, I felt there was something off. Something I was disconnected from but somehow knew all along. Have you ever felt like that? Like there’s some truth deep inside of you that you’ve known all along, you’re just not consciously aware of what? And every which way you’re led to is trying to take you back to where you belong? To take you on that journey back to your Truth, back to your home (planet), back to your start? That all you need is a little push and a shove? That if you only had someone explaining it to you, understanding you, watching you, guiding you, that maybe, just maybe, you could finally fully embody YOU?

Yeah, well that’s how I felt. I couldn’t understand what was still going wrong with me. I was putting in the work, putting in the effort, fighting the fear, working hard to shift my vibrational resonance. But something kept stopping me. Some sort of matter of the heart. And I pushed, and I shoved, and I landed right back where I had started… on the surface at least, for at that point, my business, which wasn’t that ‘successful’ in my eyes to begin with, had really come to a halt. I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t know what to do, where to go, how to land, how to move on. I wanted this to work SO BADLY for myself and I refused to give up. I was NOT going to put up with my own ‘shit’ anymore NOR would I go back and get a J-O-B! No. No. No. I SAID this was it, I MADE up my mind (or so I thought) and there was NOTHING that was going to get in my way of creating the life I dreamed of.

Or so I thought.

Because at that point in time, I still was disconnected from my heart. None of what I was fooling myself with was my soul’s doing – it was all in my mind. I wasn’t REALLY living from the heart, I wasn’t REALLY sharing my Truth, I wasn’t REALLY caring about giving and receiving the love I knew I had to share. It was all a falsity, a false reality, somehow leading me back to my Truth. But in the meantime, I struggled and fought to let go of the ruse.

Hell – my dignity was on the line! My EGO was on the line! My false reality was on the line! I couldn’t let that get bruised!

Oh, boy. I sit here and chuckle at myself.

But thankfully, finally, truthfully, my own manifestation of a ‘miracle’ fell into my lap one day, as a beautiful, dear, soul I was working with helped me identify who I really am.

“You’re a channel”, she said. A term I was familiar with, but not in the fullest regards. “A channeler… okay! Cool! Now what?”, I thought. I got it, I understood it, I knew it, that definitely was something I could identify with. I had always carried the ‘characteristics’ of that my whole life – thoughts constantly running through the head, day dreams, visions, a ‘higher awareness’ that I wasn’t really quite sure where it came from. Yes, I was one step closer to identifying my truth (and moving on with my life! As my ego was focused on…), but still wasn’t quite sure what to do.

Quickly, ‘round two’ of my good ol’ ascension shift ensued. Yeah, another ring around this rosy was brought to me, just as I was starting to ‘mellow out’ from the last few years of digging through the ‘dark knight of the soul’ and understanding my awakening process. Here we go again, I thought, as quickly I realized there was nothing left for me to do. I just had to admit to myself it was time to surrender and take things as they came. That I was going through something DEEP, an upheaval I had not been through before. A complete wiping out of ALL the lies I taught myself to Believe in and encompass throughout my child and adult hood. It was time for me to get soft, get simple, ‘stay a while’ as I let whatever this was bubble to the surface and climb into my auric field. I knew it would be longer than I wanted to, and I resisted that, but I quite literally had no other choice – I was being taken over by something fierce.

Now, that may sound sick, twisted, and downright awful to you. Like some sort of weird exorcist abduction shit, but that’s not what I’m speaking about. No, this taking over was a ‘me encompassing you’ type process. The REAL me starting to identify, encompass, embody, and integrate INTO my former ‘you’. (Just roll with it). I was starting to take over ‘myself’ as the false realities began to crumble down. I had to take long walks in nature, hug trees even, constantly shower and force myself into sweet, simple, childhood pleasures, like, dare I admit, coloring. Who would have thought coloring could be connected to so much Truth… anyways, that’s what I had to do.

But it was painful. It was unrealistic. It went against everything my mind wanted for me at that time and had been taught. And I fell into it. I kept toggling back and forth between my mind’s eye and my third eye, my mind’s blueprint and my soul’s reveal, my 3D self and my higher self, my Truth and my comfort zone. It was ‘hard’, as I perceived it at the time, attempting to get my mind on board and my body to relax into the new light it was getting ready to embrace. And at the same time, I started to learn what it truly meant to channel through higher consciousness… and even connect with the Arcturians!

For those of you who don’t know, the Arcturians are an extradimensional ‘species of the 9th and 12th dimension. In laments terms, some might call ‘them’ aliens. In my terms, because I don’t believe in continuing to replay the mental programming that comes along with this term, and, in fact, just quite possibly, if I’m totally honest, really want people to understand the TRUTH. And the TRUTH of the matter is… there ARE many other types of ‘beings’ surrounding us now and in higher dimensions ‘we’, as humans, are not part of. It’s time you open up your consciousness and let the Truth be revealed to you because there is SO, SO, SO FREAKING MUCH MORE to this world, this life, this Universe, you YOURSELF, than you are aware of.

Just my two cents 😉.

So, I connected with them more and more with the help of my Spiritual Mentor. Boy, did she have a lot of patience as she put up with SO much of my shit! She helped me reveal to myself who I really was and safely learn to call upon my Galactic family of origin. It was not the ‘facts’ that were so important to me regarding this, but really just the FEELING that came with it. The feeling that I finally understood myself, I finally felt connected to who I was when I was a little kid, I finally FELT like I was FEELING into the understanding of all of this Ascension/5th Dimensional stuff. It was relaxing, joyful, peaceful, exciting, and ecstatic all at the same time. Oh, and love. SO. SO. SO. SO much divine love. Love like I’ve never experienced it before. Love that’s expansive, joyful, unattached, light and so full of ‘more’. Not like the ‘human conditioning’ love I was used to – full of attachment, expectation, duality and almost a slight hint of suffocation, to tell you the truth.

No. This time it felt real and I would do what it takes to make myself fully aligned. That’s all I was determined to do, regardless of my current circumstances. Because, let’s be honest, as much as I was cared for, supported, and helped during this time – I was NOT comfortable, speaking through my ego of course, of where I currently stood in my physical reality. No, I wasn’t propped up in some utopian ‘celebrity rehab’ type facility for true self embodiment (I wish!). I was ‘destroyed’ on the egoic level. Debt. Car repossessed. Lacking financial stability or a college degree. Few friends. A relationship that was so unaligned. Family BS coming to the surface to deal with. Many deep-seated issues coming to life. A general taste of lack of independence and dissatisfaction with who I was and had become. It was the strangest feeling on one hand being so proud, happy, and joyed to be connected to myself, yet still feeling so disconnected to who I am/was/wanted to be at the same time.

Ah, the joys of integrating embodiment, if I do say so myself.

So, off to the races, I’d say, it finally started to be. As one night, before I laid down to sleep, ‘they came for me’. Yes, yes, here comes the ‘crazy abduction telepathic story’ you’ve been looking for through reading this long-winded story. Except… it didn’t really happen that way AND, full disclosure, I find it to be TOTAL BS the way the ‘spiritual community’ makes things like this AND so much more seem so… FAR AWAY from our reality or anything we can comprehend. It IS part of my mission here on earth to raise consciousness and connect more of you to the light you truly hold… and part of me doing so is to be the whistleblower on some of this stuff!

I was already in tune with my clairvoyance (and other clair-senses at the time), so shutting my eyes and seeing all sorts of stuff wasn’t anything new. But this time… it FELT so real. I mean. REALLY REAL. And I knew. This was my time. ‘They’, these higher dimensional beings, these higher rays of consciousness, had come down to connect me with my full embodiment of an Arcturian guide. Yes, I have memories of ‘being brought to the ship’, of what you’d consider ‘psychic surgery’, of some tinkering with my etheric body, of visualizing the rest of my Arcturian family. One night I just fell asleep to the vision and woke up in the purest form of peace imaginable. The next night, I had an out of body experience. The third night, I had sleep paralysis. And that was pretty much it.

Underwhelming much? Not when you experience it.

After that point, I finally ‘knew’ what had happened to me. Knew what ‘fully encompassing means’. Now it was just time for me to shift into this truth within my physical reality. Along with the massive waves of ‘ascension’ we were going through as a part of Earth at that time as well. Boy oh boy did my body resist. I had the HARDEST time GROUNDING in my light, so to speak. Everything my body could to do resist me, it did to resist me. The truth is, our bodies are just a vessel for US to EXPERIENCE the third dimensional reality. THAT IS IT. So enough of looking in the mirror and SEEING what you THINK is YOU, for that is only a part of your experience. Understanding that was something I needed to shift.

I needed to shift the way I spoke, the way I resonated, the way I related, the way I lived/treated/looked at my physical body and physical experience. I’ll be honest, it was quite the process, so to speak, learning how to embody my full Arcturian incarnate, and yet decipher what part of ‘me’ to hold on to in my Human experience. Because there were times, three to be exact, where I was given full disclosure that I do NOT have to be here anymore. I did NOT have to be here in this physical vibration. I could leave, ascend, lift off if I wanted to… and thank GOD for my ego because I said no. I said no! There was too much LIFE my LIGHT wanted to experience. There was ‘work to be done’, there were physical vibrations I wanted to manifest. I wanted this human life I had dreamed of – I wanted to call that in.

So, I decided to stay and that helped me understand how to lift myself of the dense resistance I was experiencing. It helped me understand how to let my light flow through me and even which parts of my personality to encompass. It allowed me to discover new things about myself. It helped me understood who I was as a channel, but that I was still my human self. I was still allowed that human experience, but this time, from a space of LIGHT and LOVE. See, I still also, at the same time, had to shift through the 3D release we were experiencing as the 5D experience was brought down to Mother Earth Gaia.

Shifting, pulling, pushing, stretching, expanding, releasing, detoxing… man oh man was this a total upheaval to my body… and my mind right along with it. Many days, living inside of myself fully observing and witnessing my LIZARD brain take FULL and complete action. ACTING, doing, experiencing, and OBSERVING at the same time everything that was going on within these internal paradigm shifts within my embodiment. I was so used to being walled up, physically tight, filled with muscle, relentlessly un-vulnerable, anxious, stressed, flexed, off balance and even in my broken divine masculine, that it was ‘hard’ to just let that light flow through and totally encompass my physical resonance.

But I made it. I grounded. I landed. And now here I am.

And as you’re watching me, watching you, watching me, you may be thinking to yourself, “well who am I then? Where do I come from? What is MY actual truth? Is all this a lie? Have I done my ascension work? Is this the life I’m meant to resonate at? Am I destined to see the truth one way or another in due time? Or is something knocking at my door, metaphysically speaking, that I haven’t been willing to realize?”

The answer is yes, yes, yes, yes, one big fat resounding YES, darling, it’s time to see your truth. It’s time for you to fully embody you. To quit living the lies you were told all your life. To release the past timelines, the past judgments, and the past ways of life. To manifest a 5D experience within the here and now. To stop judging yourself. To open yourself up to new experiences, beyond anything you’ve seen before. To witness a new part of yourself. To experience life from a whole different spectrum. To expand and evolve your vibrational resonance. To speak your truth loud and clear so others can see/hear/feel/do the same thing. To unleash the POWER you hold within and completely embody your galactic part of yourself, regardless of what ‘being’ that is. To STATE yourself in this world as the true embodiment of LOVE you seek. To respect yourself enough to know there’s nothing holding you back anymore, there’s nothing left to defeat.

To have and to hold your Truth, your true power, your galactic resilience, your total encompassment of light… is beauty in itself. Is life in itself. Is the purest ray of light you’ll ever have held before. It is peace, it is love, it is truth, it is ease, it is flow, it is instant, it is infinite, it is all knowing, it is joy. It is who you came here to BE. It is the space you came to CREATE. It is the next level of YOU, of your vibrational frequency.

All your Truth has been knocking at your door for quite some time. Are you ready to wake up, to realize? To impact the rest of the world by harnessing the TRUE POWER you REALLY HOLD? To embody and ‘accomplish’ all you are totally capable of? To quit resonating on a level of doubt, distrust, boredom, lack and unconfidence? To still push yourself back for the sake of others’ taking off? To release yourself from the mental, social, physical, environmental, emotional and energetic fields of LACK? To BE all you CAN BE, to BE ALL you have DREAMED OF?

Start today as we are calling in your truth one light worker at a time – ready to recognize the power you hold within you and align you to your Galactic Guides.

Take care dear ones, and just know we are right by your side.

Blessings – NAMASTE – Jennifer Lee + Arcturian Guides

***If you are interested in working together in a 1:1 capacity to help you shift into your TRUEST self, your Galactic Gifts and create a new wave of life you’re ready to live for, reach out personally to coaching@jenniferneel.com to find out more.